Wednesday, June 20, 2012

A Week for Mommy Time

I wanted to put up a quick note so that no one worries about me. I am still around and will be in full force next week again. This week I'm doing something for me. But more on that next week...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Two Month Shots

I'd heard stories from some of my mom friends about the illustrious two month shots. A couple days before I thought, "My baby is so happy--we've got this." Then the night before I had horrible nightmares--I mean worst case scenarios nightmares. The reality: somewhere in between, but I realize we were much closer to "we've got this" now that I'm no longer in the moment.

On Tuesday, my anxiety was high because I didn't want to cause my child any pain. Also, I learned the night before that the hubs couldn't go with me. I will admit I was mad because I didn't want to be the only parent associated with this pain! Selfish, I know, but true. (Go ahead and judge me, but I didn't want my two month old daughter to blame me.)


She was so happy and cheerful before we left, and then peacefully sleeping before we entered the office. But once they started measuring her head she started fussing and I knew I was in for a traumatizing visit. I managed to calm Thia while waiting for the doctor, and she seemed happy until the first shot went in. She went from mildly fussy, to eyes bulging and screaming. I had never heard my baby girl scream like that since she came out of the womb.


I managed to get her calmed down and gave her Tylenol before we left the doctor's office. Once we got home we snuggled and fell asleep on the couch. The hubs was peacefully sleeping upstairs after working overnight...that was until the Tylenol wore off. She woke up from our nap screaming enough to wake the dead. Through the tears I managed to get more Tylenol in her and feed her. All while the hubby tells me, "If I had known it would be this bad, I would have gone with you." I asked what he thought he would be like; his response: "I thought she'd be fussy for 30 minutes and that would be it." I rolled my eyes.


But I have to tell you that those screams will haunt whatever nightmares I have. They were beyond traumatizing. As a mom those sounds convey the worst feeling: helplessness. You can give her some medication, hold her, love her; but you can't "fix" this pain you allowed to happen. I know I will be hesitant at four months, but vaccines need to happen; it just won't make it any less heartbreaking for this mom. 


All in all though, we were very lucky. She was fussy and screaming a few times (I didn't let the Tylenol run out again until the next afternoon), but she didn't have a fever or any other side effect. Trust me if she had, I would have known--I didn't get much sleep those 24 hours. Now that I've rested, I realize that we totally had this despite being deathly worried at first.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Ooo's and Aahhh's

Sorry for no blog yesterday, I was dealing with a fussy baby who just had her two month shots (this will be tomorrow's blog). But today is a more fun, less emotionally draining topic--my baby talks! Sort of, she's cooing--so she thinks she's talking (and for all purposes, so do I).


All parents know that a smile melts your heart, but when you hear your child laugh or coo it explodes your heart. Thia's been making her own words (sounds) for a couple of weeks now, and I can't get enough of it. We seriously sit and "talk" for hours a day. To be completely frank, they are the best conversations I've ever had in my life.
One of the funniest sounds she makes is very high pitched. It sounds like a cross between a laugh and a cry. The first time I heard it I thought something was wrong, but then I noticed she was smiling. The first time my mom and husband saw it, they both told her "oh, no" thinking she was about to cry. I had to explain that she was thoroughly amused and just telling them that. Now that I've realized this is a "word," it's actually one of my favorite sounds. 


While I can't get enough of our conversations, I eat it up even more when the husband gets home and gets her going. I think this is because I'm the bystander watching someone else enjoy similar priceless moments I have everyday. Also, it shows off how smart she is! 
I know all babies do this, and it's nothing new to the world. However, it's new to my world! What were some of your thoughts when you're baby started "talking?"


Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Thia and Her Beds

If my daughter had blond hair, I would call her Goldilocks. Two months in and we still haven't figured out which bed works best. I mean, if we don't count accessories like a swing and bouncer, she has (or rather thinks has) four beds.


Bed #1: Her crib. To be honest, I'm not comfortable with her sleeping in a different bedroom from me. I know at some point I will be, but that point isn't here yet. She's slept in it once when her dad was in there working overnight. This didn't bother me because he was in the room. Since then and before then it hasn't happened because we haven't been in the room (although the hubby's tried to talk me into it a few times).
Bed #2: Her bassinet. She sleeps fairly well in this, and it was something I insisted on.   According to Dr. Karp and several other medical professionals having your child near you (bassinet, co-sleeper, etc) drops the risk of SIDS. I told you last week that I have mommy paranoia, and this is one of the biggest worries I think any mom has. So, I try to do everything in my power to keep this risk low. We bought the First Years 5-in-1. The basket comes off and can be used in any room in the house. It also props up and can be a bouncer; it has a changing table under the basket. The bassinet also features several different sounds: lullaby, heart beat, rain, and white noise. It also has a vibration setting. Truly a fabulous value if you want your baby near but not IN your bed!

Bed #3: Mommy and Daddy's bed. This is her favorite bed, but mainly when she's on top of mommy or daddy. This adds to my fears. This worries me because I worry that something could happen to her if she were to fall off of mommy or daddy. Worry was the reason I bought the fourth bed.


Bed #4: Her Snuggle Nest.  The snuggle nest is the best of both worlds. It's a co-sleeper that is on her parents' bed. She has her own space clearly marked out on our bed. Not only does it have her own space, it also plays a lullaby, womb noise, and has a night light. This co-sleeper cannot be done if you have a bed smaller than a queen size though. To be honest, even on our queen size the husband complains about not having enough room. But I'd trade us being a little uncomfortable for some peace of mind. 
She sleeps well in the last three beds. Our little bundle starts out in #2 or #4. Typically after her early morning feeding, she snuggles with mommy for an hour or so until we get out of bed. Ultimately (when she's older) she'll sleep in her crib, but until then it's whatever makes her happy. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Swaddling Made Easy

Every doctor, book, nurse, and talk show nowadays recommends swaddling your baby. They even taught us swaddling in our childbirth prep class. After hearing the overwhelming recommendations, I knew this was a parenting technique I wanted to do. Swaddling a baby keeps them held tight and is supposed to mimic feeling like the baby is still in the womb. It also keeps the baby from waking themselves with the Moro (or startle) reflex.


I remember thinking as soon as Thia arrived I would swaddle her like crazy; Thia, of course, had other ideas. I guess she was well and truly ready to be out into the real world. When you swaddle a baby, their arms are tightly snug at their side inside the blanket. 


My overly active daughter in the womb (she moved so much that if I didn't feel her for an hour I worried) didn't like being confined by any means. The only time Thia actually enjoyed being swaddled would be if she was already asleep, which is counterproductive to the teaching techniques. Most recommend swaddling as a way to help calm fussy babies. 


The best book I read during pregnancy was The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp, and he recommends just that. It was a gift from my loving, wonderful sister-in-law (and recommended by my pediatrician) that I will now include in any baby shower gift. Dr. Karp talks about swaddling and teaches a relatively easy technique (DUDU technique--down, up, down, up). And although my daughter doesn't dig the standard swaddling, the other information is beyond helpful with a new little person in your life. 
On the seldom occasions where she has let us swaddle her in a standard blanket, her arms are always out within 30 minutes top, which means she can still startle herself awake. So I decided to try a "blanket" my mom and I bought on a whim while I was pregnant. It's called a "swaddleme." It's a little more elastic than a normal blanket. It also has a pouch for the feet, which gives the baby more freedom than a blanket. The baby's hands are still tightly at their side so they don't wake themselves up with the Moro Reflex.


I can't fully explain why this product works for my daughter when a regular blanket doesn't; the reasons above are guesses, but it does work for her. She's still not as happy as a clam at first, but within a minute or so she's soothed. It's even become part of our nightly "schedule." (Schedule is in quotes because at this point it's wishful thinking, but a girl can dream.) But I like to think that once she feels the feet pouch she knows it's time for a longer leg sleep. 


I'm curious if other moms have the swaddling conflict. Maybe other babies like the feeling? It's always entirely possible that Thia got her mom's stubbornness and just wants it her way.


Friday, June 8, 2012

Mommy Paranoia

My husband calls me paranoid at times with other names... But I like to think of myself has overly cautious. I'm a first time mom, which for me means that I'm constantly worried about my baby being okay. I don't think this is unusual; I would even venture to guess that it's normal.

The "paranoia" as my husband calls it started in the hospital. The first night, when I wasn't allowed out of bed, I feel like I asked my husband a gazillion times if Thia was still breathing. Babies come out screaming, but once they've entered the world they calm down some. So when she was being quiet and I wasn't holding her, I just wanted to be sure.
This was the view of Thia from my bed.
The hubs also thought I was over the top the first month when I would constantly ask if she was okay. I even seemed nervous getting in the shower and leaving her with him. It's completely crazy and irrational. He's her father and he loves her at least as much as I do. Maybe it was separation anxiety already on my part? She was with me constantly for almost 10 months, and part of me thought she should be with me constantly out of the womb. (Like I said irrational and crazy!)

This paranoia has waned some. I've even gone to run errands and left her alone with the hubs. I missed her like crazy and still had some anxiety, but we both lived through it. I even venture that she thoroughly enjoyed daddy/daughter time (after all, she most likely gets sick of me)! 

I do, however--according to my mom, spoil her already. I put her down more often than I did at first. But the majority of the day she's in my arms. She seems to enjoy and I know I do! She's a snuggler and I eat it up. Plus I know that there will come a time (probably way to soon) that she won't like snuggling with mommy.
While I'm getting better about leaving her for small amounts of time, I prefer to be with her all the time. And truth be told: I still check on her in the middle of the night to make sure she's breathing. I wouldn't necessarily call my paranoia a meltdown. However, at times it's felt that way--especially when I've bolted out of bed at 4 AM because I hadn't heard any noises from her recently. I don't know if that's something you completely stop doing. My mom says that when we come to visit she still checks occasionally and I'm 30.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Always to the Side

One question moms: How does your child sleep? And I'm not talking about on their back--that's a given! I mean does your child have a quirky position on top of that? Maybe other babies just sleep happily flat on their backs with no difference. Maybe my child is just an odd ball; it's possible--after all, she is my child.


Thia finds it very comfortable to sleep on her side. My guess is that's why she put herself in that position while in my tummy, because she manages to put herself in that position no matter where we have her now! Personally it doesn't look very comfortable to me.


Here's her on the swing:
She's buckled into the swing but still wiggled her way sideways. 
She also tries to do this in the car seat. (Sorry no picture--I focus on driving.) The car seat position especially she drives me nuts! I have her snugly fastened into her seat. Then 30 seconds down the road, she has her head (somehow) completely out of the head protector and leaning to her right side. If she could move her feet to the left in the car seat, I'm sure she would. This is where my paranoia comes in because not only does it not look comfortable it doesn't look safe! But there is nothing I can do--the straps won't go any tighter without cutting off her circulation. 


The most amazing way she does this is when she is completely swaddled in any of her beds  (Yes, with an "S!" That will be another blog.) We've swaddled hers in blankets and laid her down in a straight line in her bassinet, snuggle nest, crib and she still puts herself diagonally.  I mean that's talent! Also that's scary because I don't want her to start crawling next week, and with that much movement who knows! (Just kidding, I know that's not possible; right?)
I swear her head was in the middle of the bed when we laid her down!
Thia also tries to do this when she's in her bouncer, too. With the bouncer I cut her off quick though because she could touch the ground with her long arms and bring the bouncer over. With the swing and car seat, she's not going anywhere. And I guess that's the answer. As long as she's comfortable and can't hurt herself, why stop her? I'm learning to just enjoy and revel in her quirks (even when my knee jerk reaction is to straighten her out)! 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Acne in Infancy

Babies are perhaps the simplest yet most complicated creatures on earth. They are simple because their needs aren't hard to meet--you feed, you change, and you hold. These three things, in general, keep your baby happy. Obviously you do a few different things (singing, swaddling, playing, etc) to make these things more enjoyable; but those three are the bare bones of what a baby needs.
However they are very complicated mainly because of all the things that could affect them. I remember talking about how fragile I thought my baby would be. One of my doctors told me, "Yea, they really aren't. We've all dropped them at some point." I remember chuckling and thinking, "Oh, God! Please don't let me drop my baby." But it's true, they aren't that fragile: They are tough, ever growing, constantly learning, hormonal beings.


You probably had to look at that last one--that's right I said "hormonal." Over Memorial Day weekend Thia got what I thought was the baby acne I'd read. It was only around her head and didn't seem to bother her so I wasn't too worried. (I'll admit that I did think about emailing my pediatrician right then; but I didn't want to be paranoid.)
So I watched my baby's beautiful, soft skin blossom with even more acne over the next couple of days because of her adjusting to her hormones and no longer receiving mine. By Monday my mommy alarm was making a soft whirring whisper, but I still didn't want to raise the red flag and call the doctor. That all changed Wednesday morning though. The small bumps looked like a rash and was on the back of her neck and her shoulders. 


That day Thia and I had our first "non-well" check-up. Turns out I was right with my compulsive reading: It is/was baby acne. As a new mom, though, there is a seriously peaceful feeling that comes from hearing it out of the pediatrician's mouth. That said, your stomach sinks when you find out there's really nothing to do about it. 


My pediatrician did give me a few tips. The first: Don't over moisturize the areas. The second: Try and keep the areas dry. For most of the affected areas it's not too hard. Thia does have two problematic spots: her scalp and her neck. Her scalp is only a problem because she has now started to sleep hard (sleeping hard = sweat). The other reason is, if you haven't seen a picture of my darling daughter lately (see below--the adorable cheeks and double chin: TOO CUTE!!), she eats like a champ! 
So what do I do to keep that area relatively dry? I use bibs and a burp cloth to cover her skin while she eats. It's not full proof, but it seems to be making a difference. Even though it was just acne, I learned that I will always follow my gut. Thinking you may have nothing to worry and hearing everything is fine are two different things; I vote for hearing a professional say it. All in all, I am so grateful to have such a healthy and happy baby that a little acne barely puts a bump (pun intended) in parenting.


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

What's in a Name?

Everyone comes up with their child's name differently. The first step the hubs and I made was a compromise--if Baby Kotowski was a boy, he picked the name; a girl, I picked the name. Seemed like a logical and fair process. Then we found out it was a girl and the pressure started.


I knew part of the name, but wasn't sure about her full name. Trying to pick out exactly what name would flow with the first, had meaning, would fit our baby girl and wouldn't embarrass her is very overwhelming. (I know this is coming from someone named "Polly;" but while my name has a bazillion ways to pick on me, it suits me very well!) 


Despite having agreed that I would pick out the name, I constantly bounced stuff off of my hubby before we were even pregnant (yes, we were thinking names before she was conceived). The name bouncing increased after we found out she was a girl in October 2011. I'm pretty sure I was driving my husband crazy--"What about this?" "What about that?" Most were met with a resounding "NO" for one reason or another. Then it came to me...


Her first name is Cynthia, after my mom. My mom has been my rock in so many ways and she continues to be. She's also my best friend in the whole world next to my hubby. But more than that my mom is by far the strongest woman I know, and I want my daughter to have that same strength. Plus my mom doesn't really know the word "no;" and while I hope my daughter does, I still want her to have my mom's generosity. 
My mom and I at my brother's wedding last year.

The second name was harder. At first I said we should combine our mothers' names but it just didn't flow as well as we wanted--too many A's ending words. So, we went through the gamut when I spoke my grandmother's name with Cynthia and it was perfect! I was reluctant choosing two names from my family because I just didn't think it was fair, but my husband liked it. Thus she was named Cynthia Gail, in hopes that she will have my grandmother's grace and big heart. 
My grandmother and I.
The idea for the name we call her--"Thia"--has a slightly cheesier origin. When I was WAY younger (I'm talking about 13), I saw the movie For Keeps with Molly Ringwald. The movie is definitely one of Molly's more serious films--she becomes a teen mom before it was made cool on MTV. Any who, her boyfriend/husband in the film Stan (played by Randall Batinkoff) named their baby Theodosia. Molly's character Darcy is horrified but nicknames her "Thea," which I thought was the most adorable name ever. 
And that's how we (I) picked our daughter's name. She's named after two of the most inspiring and lovable women I know. Then, with me being a true 80's child, we call her a name inspired by one of mommy's favorite 80's movies. Thia fits her perfectly, and sound like it should restrict her to any profession (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about). Also, Cynthia Gail flows amazingly for the future if/when she ever gets in trouble!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Sling? Carrier? Why Not Both?

I'm sure anyone who's ever done a baby registry can relate--do you want a sling, carrier, or just car seat with a stroller? I tossed and turned about it because it seemed like a crucial decision. After all making the right choice would dictate how much mobility mom and Thia would have to explore the rest of the world. 

In the end for registry purposes we decided on the Chicco Ultrasoft Carrier. We chose Chicco because it was a brand that several of parental friends chose and it was well rated. I haven't used it much. Miss Thia still can't hold her own head up for long periods of time, which is NOT a criteria for this carrier but seems to be for my child. She's a snuggler and wants to be close all the time, so feet dangling when she doesn't have more control makes her insane. I'm sure has she gets bigger she will love this carrier because she can face mommy/daddy or the world.
I also received a promotional sling from Seven Slings. This one seemed a little to tight for my angel and it's not really adjustable. I'm sure with super small babies it's a God send but for my baby who loves to eat, it's not great. However, I am looking forward to using it when she's bigger (like 9 months). Yes, I know what I just said; BUT this sling offers it self greatly as an on the hip holder.
With these two not being Thia's favorite things, I thought I was going to be doomed to only using one hand for the foreseeable future. Don't get me wrong--I can get WAY more done with one hand than I ever dreamed possible! (All you moms know exactly what I'm talking about!)

But when Thia was about two weeks old I was placing my order on Diapers.Com (a whole other post on this website later), and they had a promo for an item called the Baby K'Tan. Seriously this product is the best of both worlds, and unless Thia is super hungry she LOVES it! It has the cuddle factor of a good sling or wrap, but the true convenience of a carrier. But the best part is: it GROWS with Thia (holds up to 35 lbs). The Baby K'Tan is unbelievably versatile to find a position for any fussy baby--it can be a kangaroo hold, hug position, adventure position, explore position and the two-hip position. It's also designed to support your back and your baby. Plus it's t-shirt material and machine washable (which is essential for a new mom). But may favorite part about this kind of carrier: Strangers actually don't think it's okay to reach in and touch my baby!
Plus it comes in all sorts of colors--I got this fantastic eggplant shade!
Of course the tried and true Graco Snugride car seat is also wonderful. My angel loves to fall asleep in hers, and you don't wake a sleeping baby if you don't have to!


Friday, June 1, 2012

Every New Mom Cries

It's my understanding (or at least my personal hope/belief) that all new moms cry at the beginning. Let me be very, very clear here--I don't like crying, never have. Before I got pregnant if you caught me crying I was probably angry not sad. Now if you see me crying you need more than just that guess because it could be as simple as a commercial or seeing my daughter's first smile.

Truthfully as soon as your baby arrives a woman's hormones are completely out of whack so there's no telling what could set off the water works. On top of that add in the fact that you are adapting to surviving on only four total hours of sleep and a periodically crying little person who solely depends on you for food, comfort and hygiene: You are bound to have what I call a "mommy meltdown." These meltdowns could be nuclear given the right prompt or trying too hard to not breakdown.

I experienced both a run of the mill meltdown and a nuclear meltdown within the first week of being home. My run of the mill mommy meltdown happened when I conceded to giving my precious daughter a bottle within the first two weeks of life. This terrified me for two reasons--what if she wouldn't take it and I had no way to get sleep or what if she liked the bottle too much and breastfeeding went down the tubes. 

I was also absolutely sure that by not listening to the recommended "don't introduce a bottle until 4-6 weeks" that I was a horrible mother. I felt incredibly guilty and lazy that I wanted to take one feeding off so I could sleep a little more. Thankfully my husband and mom assured me this wasn't the case. Thia was still receiving my milk, which is what really matter to me and the hubby. Plus, a more rested mommy means a happier and better mommy--win/win.
This was the hubs giving Thia that first bottle.
Then came the nuclear meltdown. This was not pretty. I mean puffy eyes, nose dripping snot a foot long, you would think I dislocated something and was in excruciating pain. Alas, I was just a 30 year old new mom who's mommy was going home to South Carolina a few days sooner than originally plan. The moment my mom told me she changed her flight for work, I lost it. Both the hubby and mom tried to console me for at least an hour. They had no shot. It was impossible until I was done with the tears (which were accompanied by hiccups (again: it-was-ugly!)). 

I couldn't tell you the last time I had cried like that. For whatever reason, hearing that my mom was leaving basically caused me to panic. I was filled with fear that I couldn't or wouldn't be able to figure out being a mom without my mom there. It was completely irrational but it was all I could hear in my head. Then it passed, and I realized I could do this... But I had to be "cleansed" by my personal rain before I could see it.
Our three generations. 
I have no idea if other new moms have had these exact thoughts; who knows maybe some moms never experience these meltdowns. I can only tell you that I have and what they were like. My meltdowns (which have significantly lessened) help keep me grounded and enjoy every moment with my daughter.