Friday, June 15, 2012

Two Month Shots

I'd heard stories from some of my mom friends about the illustrious two month shots. A couple days before I thought, "My baby is so happy--we've got this." Then the night before I had horrible nightmares--I mean worst case scenarios nightmares. The reality: somewhere in between, but I realize we were much closer to "we've got this" now that I'm no longer in the moment.

On Tuesday, my anxiety was high because I didn't want to cause my child any pain. Also, I learned the night before that the hubs couldn't go with me. I will admit I was mad because I didn't want to be the only parent associated with this pain! Selfish, I know, but true. (Go ahead and judge me, but I didn't want my two month old daughter to blame me.)


She was so happy and cheerful before we left, and then peacefully sleeping before we entered the office. But once they started measuring her head she started fussing and I knew I was in for a traumatizing visit. I managed to calm Thia while waiting for the doctor, and she seemed happy until the first shot went in. She went from mildly fussy, to eyes bulging and screaming. I had never heard my baby girl scream like that since she came out of the womb.


I managed to get her calmed down and gave her Tylenol before we left the doctor's office. Once we got home we snuggled and fell asleep on the couch. The hubs was peacefully sleeping upstairs after working overnight...that was until the Tylenol wore off. She woke up from our nap screaming enough to wake the dead. Through the tears I managed to get more Tylenol in her and feed her. All while the hubby tells me, "If I had known it would be this bad, I would have gone with you." I asked what he thought he would be like; his response: "I thought she'd be fussy for 30 minutes and that would be it." I rolled my eyes.


But I have to tell you that those screams will haunt whatever nightmares I have. They were beyond traumatizing. As a mom those sounds convey the worst feeling: helplessness. You can give her some medication, hold her, love her; but you can't "fix" this pain you allowed to happen. I know I will be hesitant at four months, but vaccines need to happen; it just won't make it any less heartbreaking for this mom. 


All in all though, we were very lucky. She was fussy and screaming a few times (I didn't let the Tylenol run out again until the next afternoon), but she didn't have a fever or any other side effect. Trust me if she had, I would have known--I didn't get much sleep those 24 hours. Now that I've rested, I realize that we totally had this despite being deathly worried at first.

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