Things I Knew (And Didn't) About a C-Section

My darling daughter was in the perfect birthing position for over 2 months and my wonderful doctor and I thought I would be able to have a natural childbirth. I was even excited about it because my mom and one of my grandmothers wasn't able to do so, and I thought my body would actually cooperate. My daughter had other plans though--she moved herself to a transverse position with her umbilical cord directly over the birthing canal. So I went from waiting for labor to start to please don't let labor start with an urgent c-section with in 24 hours. I'm not complaining about this because Thia was born healthy, safe and happy, which was all I really wanted. 

That being said there were things I knew in theory that followed and things I had no clue about recovering from a c-section:


1. It's major surgery. The doctors and nurses tell you this, but it doesn't (or didn't with me at least) register. At the end of the day I was able to hold my bouncing baby girl. Yes the hospital stay was a little lengthy, but I was able to cuddle, feed, sing, and love on this beautiful gift. No, the major surgery part didn't register until I got home 4 days later. That's when it truly hit me that I was restricted and not at the top of my game. It was painful and unlike other surgeries you can't lounge around doped up because that blessing you are excited about needs to be fed, cleaned and held. 


2. You can't drive. This was a no-brainer. And, truthfully, it didn't bother me until about two weeks later, then I wanted to be able to tool around with my daughter. But it wasn't a possibility because I had been cut open and couldn't risk opening my incision. I was able to drive about two weeks after that, which brought back a huge sense of being me.


3. There's swelling--L-O-T-S of swelling. I had no idea this happened. I mean, I knew my tummy wouldn't immediately flat; but the rest of my body?!? My whole body was so swollen I couldn't even get my pregnancy jeans on! My pregnancy cankles had nothing on my post c-section cankles. I could barely walk for about a week without pain in my ankles. The swelling went away after about two weeks, and thank goodness for my self-esteem!


4. You still look pregnant. Like I said, I knew my stomach wouldn't be flat--but I didn't really think I would still look nine months pregnant. Part of it was the swelling and then part of it was just recovering from being pregnant. I thought I missed out on that later part with the c-section: I mean they cut me open, they could at least remove some of the extra flab; right? Nope you still have to burn calories to get that tummy to go away. (Breastfeeding helps a ton!)


5. You still have crazy hormones. I thought that once I was no longer with child that my hormones would stabilize. This thought was very, very, very wrong. I found that out when everyone else in the hospital room was freezing and I was begging for the thermostat to be turned down. At that point my doctor informed me that my husband was the temperature gauge for our baby. Apparently with breastfeeding that continues; so even when I wake up drenched in sweat, all the normal people can (and probably are) still cold.


6. You can't eat for AT LEAST 24 hours. I call you back to number 1--MAJOR SURGERY. This may not seem like such a big deal, but my diet was more restricted than most. Yes, I missed sushi and the like. But I had gestational diabetes, which meant I couldn't indulge in the sweet tooth cravings my daughter created. By the time she arrived I was longing for Coca-Cola and Krispy Kreme, and I had planned on having them as soon as I birthed her. Nope! I couldn't have anything, then only liquids, then finally I could eat what I wanted. Overall, I couldn't indulge for about 72 hours. 

7. You're instant super mom. I think all new moms think this not just those of us who didn't actually experience labor or who are chronic over achievers. It's not true, you have to adjust and figure it out--no baby or family is the same. So in that vein, be grateful for your co-stars/supporting cast... whoever they maybe. (A special thank you to my hubby, mom, dad, Cara and Tina!)


I know other women have a lot more draw backs to having a c-section, but it really wasn't as bad as any horror story I had heard. Truthfully I wouldn't trade the way Thia came into this world because she entered this world perfect. It's like with anything--perspective helps a lot. My perspective is: well worth it!

Finding a Rhythm...(I think)

So Miss Thia is seven weeks old today (!) and (I think) we are finally finding a rhythm. It could all change tomorrow, but I'm choosing to believe we've found something. The last seven weeks have been a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, amusement, messiness, and any other contradicting emotions you can come up with. I tried my best to listen to all of the unsolicited wanted advice--you know: let your chores wait, sleep when the baby sleeps, let your partner help with feedings, don't sleep with your baby, sleep with your baby, let your baby cry, don't let your baby... You know, all (I'm sure I've missed some) the advice you get as a new mom. All of it is welcomed (although sometimes confusing) because I am a first time mom.

I can't believe she is already seven weeks old!

I'll be honest with recovering from the c-section, trying to get enough sleep, extreme breast engorgement--I listened to the "let your chores wait." Let me be clear, when I say I listened, I mean I listened for almost seven weeks (I could barely walk through my living room)--then I just couldn't take it anymore. So starting over this long weekend while the dear hubby could entertain our ever more alert baby, I started a cleaning binge I still haven't quite finished (tomorrow will be the finishing touches). I actually hate that I let it wait, because I just feel calmer having a tidy home. But now that my darling daughter will actually let me put her down during the day, this cleanliness will be kept up so I don't become a scary, mad woman talking about dishes, clothes and dust.


The other advice I tried desperately to listen to was to "sleep when your baby sleeps." I tried and tried and even prayed that I would be able to--but with the exception of a few pure exhausted naps, it didn't work. I'm not a napper. Never have been. I couldn't even do it well in college (don't get me wrong, plenty of times I watched TV lounging around in my dorm room). For whatever reason, my body has a hard time sleeping when the sun is up (maybe that's why Thia is so alert). 


I do fully believe in letting your partner help with feedings. I fought this at first when we got home from the hospital because I thought it would make me a bad mom if my daughter was fed other than directly from my teet. (Not saying you have to breastfeed to be a good mom; I just really wanted to breastfeed.) However, my excruciating breast engorgement taught me otherwise. When you over produce milk and you can't sleep with the sun up: You let (and thank goodness for) your partner feed the baby at night. That way I get sleep and Thia still gets breast milk AND bonding time with daddy.

Medela breast pump--Truly a lifesaver and MUST have!

These few things are helping me to create a rhythm for me and Miss Thia. A rhythm to me means I'll be able to return phone calls, go out into the world and in general have a sense of well being beyond being an exhausted milk factory. That's the trick I've learned to be most valuable--whatever works for you, your baby and your new family is what you do. So if you haven't heard from, I'm not avoiding you. I've just been learning how to live this new truly blessed, awesome new life. So, expect to hear from me soon.


PS-I'll talk about that other advice during a later post. Because that's part of my new rhythm (fingers crossed): at least two posts a week.

Do(n't) Say to a New Mother

I don't know about all you other new moms, but I feel like a hormonal mess. And if you factor in this new role with recovering from an urgent C-section you could just call me a hot (flash) mess.

Our first family photo--taken after Thia's arrival April 11, 2012.

My father and husband are both very loving and supportive, but at the end of the day-they are boys...ergo they do NOT understand. When I finally experienced my first teariness, both said, "you're fine, it's normal, you are post partum." Men think that final phrase explains it all. (Which, a quick note guys, it makes us women even more emotional.)


Then top it off by being told I'm hormonal, dramatic or any other word that would send a woman off the deep end on a normal average day. Men understand to tell you how great of a job you're doing while in the hospital and the first couple days at home. But then, somehow, they forget. Honestly, all new moms (at least this one) want to hear is that we're doing a good job, you love us and can you help us with anything.


Usually it wouldn't be a big deal. However, this new mom still can't drive or carry anything heavier than her growing, beautiful little girl. So, in my mind I'm handicapped. I very much like to be able to do my own thing and would love to take lil bit with; but I can't quite yet. This is making me stir crazy and feeling VERY needy with my hubby-who lets be honest is over it at this point. Well, ME TOO!! I know this part will be over soon, and thus I ask for patience for myself, hubby, and all family and friends.

Our first outing to Ronnie's Dinner on Culver Blvd.

PS. I'm very grateful to get to go out for brunch as a little family!! My and Thia's first outing other than doctor's appointments in over 3 weeks... I think I may need to have my hair cut and toenails painted--just saying.