There Will Be Photoshop

Ah... The belly photo. The photo that holds a woman's 8 or 9 month body in posterity for the viewing pleasure of, well--herself, husband, family and perhaps even the baby that is (sort of) in the photo. I'm not saying I don't like the photos. In fact if they are done tastefully and thoughtfully, I think they are/can a wonderful keepsake and adorable. But let's face it, not all belly photos are created equal.


Some women just do not look comfortable exposing any part of themselves, even it is only their (very) round belly. The truth is if you're not comfortable, then no shot will be worth using (and you've now wasted time and money). Then other women are too comfortable for my taste. You know the ones I'm talking about--no bra, no undies--just wearing Eve's uniform  like they couldn't afford even a fig leaf. I'm by no means a prude, but I'm very uncomfortable looking at entirely nude body that isn't an ancient work of art or my husband. 


Jessica Simpson recently did this photo for Elle magazine (see below). Beyond the two reasons above--she and I both are uncomfortable--there is also one thing I call BS on in this picture; I call it the Wonderful World of Photoshop. Honestly, WWP doesn't bother me. I think most celebs should use it for blemishes and such. But, and maybe it's just me, I don't buy that you can't see a single vein on her belly.  True, maybe Jess had spray tan or something of the like before the shoot (I don't do it; therefore I'm not aware of possible side effects and can't judge). 

But not having any veins on this photo made me slightly panic and feel insecure at first. I then calmed my hormonal-self and reminded the crazy woman inside of WWP. Also, for as far along as Jess is, her bellybutton seems amazingly still poked in. Good for her on both accounts I suppose; but I'm refusing to let the hormonal crazy lady inside me compare.


Also, I haven't decided if I will let the hubby take clothed belly pictures of me and BGK. I may want to sometime in the next few weeks, but believe me there will be photoshop--no one needs to see the river lines on the map that has become my belly.