Noise is Your Friend

I remember before our wonderful bundle of joy arrived we (I) worried about how she would sleep because we live in an apartment. In all honesty, having a newborn in an apartment can be somewhat terrifying because you can't control that much of the environment. For instance they tell you to control the temperature on your hot water heater--that just isn't an option for most apartment buildings.


But the most troubling for this control freak is the noise control. We live in one of the entry way apartments, which means you hear most of the comings and goings. This was amplified by the fact that, until recently, our entryway door had keys perpetually getting stuck in it. For some reason people thought banging the door against the frame was the most efficient way to remove them; sorry, folks, a little jiggle should do the trick. Our apartment also faces the street, so there is a steady bustle of cars and people walking.

I guess what I'm saying is that our building, that I would characterize as fairly quiet before, becomes excruciatingly loud when you start thinking about a sleeping baby. So I figured out a way to combat this problem: television (our any noise) is your friend.


Even at the hospital, I always had the television on and she didn't leave my room. Then once we arrived home, we have constantly had the television on. I'm really not exaggerating much--we turn the TV off right before the hubby and I go to sleep. I know it sounds simple and ridiculous at the same time. But I didn't want strange voices, door slams, loud hustle and bustle to freak her out. Not to be boastful, but I have to give myself a pat on the back: Noise has never been an issue for her sleeping habits.

But noise isn't really a new idea. Most baby books recommend playing some sort of sounds to soothe sleeping babies (i.e.: white noise, womb sounds, rain, etc). We also do the womb sounds on her snuggle nest and bassinet. Recently she's started "engaging" with toys (she looks and talks to them, but not quite grabbing). So in that regard, we play these sounds with a pink and purple seahorse and a Sleep Sheep.

In all fairness, though, she's my daughter--she likes noise of all kind. I sing to her constantly (poor kid!); and even though it's unintelligible, she's already a chatterbox. Plus, I like being on the go, and having a noise resistant baby makes outings so much easier.

Thia and Her Beds

If my daughter had blond hair, I would call her Goldilocks. Two months in and we still haven't figured out which bed works best. I mean, if we don't count accessories like a swing and bouncer, she has (or rather thinks has) four beds.


Bed #1: Her crib. To be honest, I'm not comfortable with her sleeping in a different bedroom from me. I know at some point I will be, but that point isn't here yet. She's slept in it once when her dad was in there working overnight. This didn't bother me because he was in the room. Since then and before then it hasn't happened because we haven't been in the room (although the hubby's tried to talk me into it a few times).

Bed #2: Her bassinet. She sleeps fairly well in this, and it was something I insisted on.   According to Dr. Karp and several other medical professionals having your child near you (bassinet, co-sleeper, etc) drops the risk of SIDS. I told you last week that I have mommy paranoia, and this is one of the biggest worries I think any mom has. So, I try to do everything in my power to keep this risk low. We bought the First Years 5-in-1. The basket comes off and can be used in any room in the house. It also props up and can be a bouncer; it has a changing table under the basket. The bassinet also features several different sounds: lullaby, heart beat, rain, and white noise. It also has a vibration setting. Truly a fabulous value if you want your baby near but not IN your bed!

Bed #3: Mommy and Daddy's bed. This is her favorite bed, but mainly when she's on top of mommy or daddy. This adds to my fears. This worries me because I worry that something could happen to her if she were to fall off of mommy or daddy. Worry was the reason I bought the fourth bed.


Bed #4: Her Snuggle Nest.  The snuggle nest is the best of both worlds. It's a co-sleeper that is on her parents' bed. She has her own space clearly marked out on our bed. Not only does it have her own space, it also plays a lullaby, womb noise, and has a night light. This co-sleeper cannot be done if you have a bed smaller than a queen size though. To be honest, even on our queen size the husband complains about not having enough room. But I'd trade us being a little uncomfortable for some peace of mind. 

She sleeps well in the last three beds. Our little bundle starts out in #2 or #4. Typically after her early morning feeding, she snuggles with mommy for an hour or so until we get out of bed. Ultimately (when she's older) she'll sleep in her crib, but until then it's whatever makes her happy. 

What's in a Name?

Everyone comes up with their child's name differently. The first step the hubs and I made was a compromise--if Baby Kotowski was a boy, he picked the name; a girl, I picked the name. Seemed like a logical and fair process. Then we found out it was a girl and the pressure started.


I knew part of the name, but wasn't sure about her full name. Trying to pick out exactly what name would flow with the first, had meaning, would fit our baby girl and wouldn't embarrass her is very overwhelming. (I know this is coming from someone named "Polly;" but while my name has a bazillion ways to pick on me, it suits me very well!) 


Despite having agreed that I would pick out the name, I constantly bounced stuff off of my hubby before we were even pregnant (yes, we were thinking names before she was conceived). The name bouncing increased after we found out she was a girl in October 2011. I'm pretty sure I was driving my husband crazy--"What about this?" "What about that?" Most were met with a resounding "NO" for one reason or another. Then it came to me...


Her first name is Cynthia, after my mom. My mom has been my rock in so many ways and she continues to be. She's also my best friend in the whole world next to my hubby. But more than that my mom is by far the strongest woman I know, and I want my daughter to have that same strength. Plus my mom doesn't really know the word "no;" and while I hope my daughter does, I still want her to have my mom's generosity. 

My mom and I at my brother's wedding last year.

The second name was harder. At first I said we should combine our mothers' names but it just didn't flow as well as we wanted--too many A's ending words. So, we went through the gamut when I spoke my grandmother's name with Cynthia and it was perfect! I was reluctant choosing two names from my family because I just didn't think it was fair, but my husband liked it. Thus she was named Cynthia Gail, in hopes that she will have my grandmother's grace and big heart. 

My grandmother and I.

The idea for the name we call her--"Thia"--has a slightly cheesier origin. When I was WAY younger (I'm talking about 13), I saw the movie For Keeps with Molly Ringwald. The movie is definitely one of Molly's more serious films--she becomes a teen mom before it was made cool on MTV. Any who, her boyfriend/husband in the film Stan (played by Randall Batinkoff) named their baby Theodosia. Molly's character Darcy is horrified but nicknames her "Thea," which I thought was the most adorable name ever. 

And that's how we (I) picked our daughter's name. She's named after two of the most inspiring and lovable women I know. Then, with me being a true 80's child, we call her a name inspired by one of mommy's favorite 80's movies. Thia fits her perfectly, and sound like it should restrict her to any profession (don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about). Also, Cynthia Gail flows amazingly for the future if/when she ever gets in trouble!

Things I Knew (And Didn't) About a C-Section

My darling daughter was in the perfect birthing position for over 2 months and my wonderful doctor and I thought I would be able to have a natural childbirth. I was even excited about it because my mom and one of my grandmothers wasn't able to do so, and I thought my body would actually cooperate. My daughter had other plans though--she moved herself to a transverse position with her umbilical cord directly over the birthing canal. So I went from waiting for labor to start to please don't let labor start with an urgent c-section with in 24 hours. I'm not complaining about this because Thia was born healthy, safe and happy, which was all I really wanted. 

That being said there were things I knew in theory that followed and things I had no clue about recovering from a c-section:


1. It's major surgery. The doctors and nurses tell you this, but it doesn't (or didn't with me at least) register. At the end of the day I was able to hold my bouncing baby girl. Yes the hospital stay was a little lengthy, but I was able to cuddle, feed, sing, and love on this beautiful gift. No, the major surgery part didn't register until I got home 4 days later. That's when it truly hit me that I was restricted and not at the top of my game. It was painful and unlike other surgeries you can't lounge around doped up because that blessing you are excited about needs to be fed, cleaned and held. 


2. You can't drive. This was a no-brainer. And, truthfully, it didn't bother me until about two weeks later, then I wanted to be able to tool around with my daughter. But it wasn't a possibility because I had been cut open and couldn't risk opening my incision. I was able to drive about two weeks after that, which brought back a huge sense of being me.


3. There's swelling--L-O-T-S of swelling. I had no idea this happened. I mean, I knew my tummy wouldn't immediately flat; but the rest of my body?!? My whole body was so swollen I couldn't even get my pregnancy jeans on! My pregnancy cankles had nothing on my post c-section cankles. I could barely walk for about a week without pain in my ankles. The swelling went away after about two weeks, and thank goodness for my self-esteem!


4. You still look pregnant. Like I said, I knew my stomach wouldn't be flat--but I didn't really think I would still look nine months pregnant. Part of it was the swelling and then part of it was just recovering from being pregnant. I thought I missed out on that later part with the c-section: I mean they cut me open, they could at least remove some of the extra flab; right? Nope you still have to burn calories to get that tummy to go away. (Breastfeeding helps a ton!)


5. You still have crazy hormones. I thought that once I was no longer with child that my hormones would stabilize. This thought was very, very, very wrong. I found that out when everyone else in the hospital room was freezing and I was begging for the thermostat to be turned down. At that point my doctor informed me that my husband was the temperature gauge for our baby. Apparently with breastfeeding that continues; so even when I wake up drenched in sweat, all the normal people can (and probably are) still cold.


6. You can't eat for AT LEAST 24 hours. I call you back to number 1--MAJOR SURGERY. This may not seem like such a big deal, but my diet was more restricted than most. Yes, I missed sushi and the like. But I had gestational diabetes, which meant I couldn't indulge in the sweet tooth cravings my daughter created. By the time she arrived I was longing for Coca-Cola and Krispy Kreme, and I had planned on having them as soon as I birthed her. Nope! I couldn't have anything, then only liquids, then finally I could eat what I wanted. Overall, I couldn't indulge for about 72 hours. 

7. You're instant super mom. I think all new moms think this not just those of us who didn't actually experience labor or who are chronic over achievers. It's not true, you have to adjust and figure it out--no baby or family is the same. So in that vein, be grateful for your co-stars/supporting cast... whoever they maybe. (A special thank you to my hubby, mom, dad, Cara and Tina!)


I know other women have a lot more draw backs to having a c-section, but it really wasn't as bad as any horror story I had heard. Truthfully I wouldn't trade the way Thia came into this world because she entered this world perfect. It's like with anything--perspective helps a lot. My perspective is: well worth it!

Finding a Rhythm...(I think)

So Miss Thia is seven weeks old today (!) and (I think) we are finally finding a rhythm. It could all change tomorrow, but I'm choosing to believe we've found something. The last seven weeks have been a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, amusement, messiness, and any other contradicting emotions you can come up with. I tried my best to listen to all of the unsolicited wanted advice--you know: let your chores wait, sleep when the baby sleeps, let your partner help with feedings, don't sleep with your baby, sleep with your baby, let your baby cry, don't let your baby... You know, all (I'm sure I've missed some) the advice you get as a new mom. All of it is welcomed (although sometimes confusing) because I am a first time mom.

I can't believe she is already seven weeks old!

I'll be honest with recovering from the c-section, trying to get enough sleep, extreme breast engorgement--I listened to the "let your chores wait." Let me be clear, when I say I listened, I mean I listened for almost seven weeks (I could barely walk through my living room)--then I just couldn't take it anymore. So starting over this long weekend while the dear hubby could entertain our ever more alert baby, I started a cleaning binge I still haven't quite finished (tomorrow will be the finishing touches). I actually hate that I let it wait, because I just feel calmer having a tidy home. But now that my darling daughter will actually let me put her down during the day, this cleanliness will be kept up so I don't become a scary, mad woman talking about dishes, clothes and dust.


The other advice I tried desperately to listen to was to "sleep when your baby sleeps." I tried and tried and even prayed that I would be able to--but with the exception of a few pure exhausted naps, it didn't work. I'm not a napper. Never have been. I couldn't even do it well in college (don't get me wrong, plenty of times I watched TV lounging around in my dorm room). For whatever reason, my body has a hard time sleeping when the sun is up (maybe that's why Thia is so alert). 


I do fully believe in letting your partner help with feedings. I fought this at first when we got home from the hospital because I thought it would make me a bad mom if my daughter was fed other than directly from my teet. (Not saying you have to breastfeed to be a good mom; I just really wanted to breastfeed.) However, my excruciating breast engorgement taught me otherwise. When you over produce milk and you can't sleep with the sun up: You let (and thank goodness for) your partner feed the baby at night. That way I get sleep and Thia still gets breast milk AND bonding time with daddy.

Medela breast pump--Truly a lifesaver and MUST have!

These few things are helping me to create a rhythm for me and Miss Thia. A rhythm to me means I'll be able to return phone calls, go out into the world and in general have a sense of well being beyond being an exhausted milk factory. That's the trick I've learned to be most valuable--whatever works for you, your baby and your new family is what you do. So if you haven't heard from, I'm not avoiding you. I've just been learning how to live this new truly blessed, awesome new life. So, expect to hear from me soon.


PS-I'll talk about that other advice during a later post. Because that's part of my new rhythm (fingers crossed): at least two posts a week.